


Having Hope

by Shanynde



Category: Beverly Hills 90210 (1990)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-14 22:40:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13017648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanynde/pseuds/Shanynde
Summary: He could knock on that door, he had to.





	Having Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hudson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hudson/gifts).



Could he bring himself to knock on that door? He knew that she would not reach out to him, not after their last conversation. No, it had to be him. He wanted peace. He was tired of carrying the weight of his sister’s tears. He knew that he did not deserve her forgiveness, but he needed to try.  
So much had happened since they moved to California when they were teens. She had fallen in love, a passionate, all-consuming, destructive kind of love. They were two people who would either burn together or burn each other to destruction. And in her downfall, Brandon had looked like the one who had it in control. Yes, he had a triangle of his own, but Kelly was never able to destroy him the way Dylan had destroyed Brenda. But it paled in comparison to his own actions.

Destruction. That is what Brandon had done. He had destroyed his sister in a way that Dylan never had. As he stood in front of the door, he thought back to their last conversation. Both of them had come home for a weekend at their parent’s behest. To the surprise of all involved, Dylan had accompanied Brenda. Brandon was not happy. It had been a few months since he closed the door on Kelly and he had heard that Kelly and Dylan- the soulmates- had been spending time together. He was out of this messed up quadrilateral. No more switching partners. No more tug of war. He was done.  
And he had assumed that Brenda was done. She had promised that the hurricane that was Dylan McKay had passed. She loved London and was doing what she loved. She had grown up and was looking for companionship and the calm.

So, why did she bring him if she was done? No- they had made a pact. No more! Could she stop being so selfish? Don’t get him wrong, he loved his sister, but she was a temptress in the storm and emotional. She was prone to impulsive decisions and if someone told her not to do something, it was an assurance that she would do the very thing that would destroy her. God Damn it, she was stubborn. She cried during arguments and would not listen to facts, pushing people into ultimatums. She was loyal until you betrayed her if she were a boy and Italian she would have been a Don and run an empire. And he would have been her faithful Consigliere. For if there was a word to describe him, it was faithful. Faithful to himself and to those he loved.

A love that he still sought and a love that she was settling for. She did not love Dylan. No- what she didn’t understand was that trust was essential to love and that both of them could no longer trust the people who they had given their hearts too.

So, they fought.

“What’s your problem?” She had demanded after he made a few snide comments at dinner. She had followed him to the kitchen, leaving Dylan with his parents.

“My problem is that you brought him to this house. This won’t end like you think. It won’t end in the wedding and the happily ever after.” Did she honestly think that this time would be any different?

“I love him.” As if love ever solved anything.

“Then you know nothing about love.” He couldn’t help himself.

“How can you say that? It is different this time. But is this even about Dylan? Or is it about the fact that you are alone?” Oh, she knew where to hit his buttons. She knew his desire for companionship. But he had had a companion. Her! And she had abandoned him, just as everyone else had. 

“You’ve been gone a long time. Do not pretend that you know me.” He was biting, looking for a way out.

The waterworks had begun. Brenda begged, “Brandon, you’re my brother. My twin. And yes, I have been gone for a long time. And we have fought in the past. But the past is just that. We need to move on. Dylan and I have. You need to let go of the pain.”

“Don’t you dare presume that you know me or the pain that he has put us through.”

I know what he has done, just as I know what I’ve done and what you have done.” She grew angrier as she spoke, “But our choices are in the past. We can’t change them. We can only move on. I am willing to do that, the choice is yours. Do you or do you not want to be in my life,” she had demanded with her voice cracking. She had been so angry. He was unable to look at her until the last sentence left her mouth and he finally looked at her.

Once, she had known him better than that. She knew that he did not respond well to demands. Neither of them did. But the moment he drew a line in the sand, he would not cross it. And she still pushed and prodded until there was no more patience.

“Then I don’t want you in my life.” He refused to show emotion in that moment. He had made his choice. He was tired of being left behind. Andrea, Brenda, Dylan, Kelly...they all left him. Smart, sweet dependable Brandon, he was left to pick up the pieces of his battered life. 

Oh, her face. Her expressive face as he spoke those words flashed a variety of emotions. In that moment, he had her defeated. It didn’t matter if she responded with a, “Damn you,” “Fuck you,” or thrown something at him. There was nothing that she could have said to counter his words. She turned and retreated. In that moment, Brandon knew he had broken his sister. But he couldn’t say it was wrong because he was broken also.

Jolting out of a memory, Brandon shook his head. Brenda had taken Dylan and they had left the house. She had blocked him on facebook, Instagram and snapchat. Oh-to the outside world, it looked as though they were still friends, but it was just a show. Two years and they had not exchanged one word. And yet, here he was. Standing in front of her door. It was time.

He would never fully trust Dylan, but he could bury the hatchet. He had to. He had met a beautiful woman and wanted to marry her. He heard from his parents that Brenda and Dylan were planning a wedding. No matter the pain, he knew he needed them in his life. They needed to be in each other’s orbits. So he stood in front of her door and raised his fist to knock on the door. He hoped that this would be a moment that could heal the gaping wound in their hearts. He could only hope.


End file.
